By Martin Turner
When you meet someone you’re incredibly attracted to and find yourself falling in love with them, chances are you’re thinking about them when you wake up and when you go to bed. That’s lovely; it probably indicates that there is some depth to what you are feeling, but could it spiral into jealousy or being overly needy? It’s worth remembering that when you first met this wonderful person you were a functioning individual singular adult. Likewise so were they, and in the beautiful wizardry of the universe with a strong helping hand from your personal cupid at exclusive matchmakers VIDA, you found each other.
In a new relationship does our love lose gravity and begin to slip into the realms of Where are they? What are they doing? Who are they with? What are they thinking? It’s so important to replenish as an individual to have space and to give space. The better you get at doing this the more secure you will be about yourself and the relationship. Instead of fretting or obsessing could you please have a private word with yourself and say “ok listen up 2 months ago you didn’t even know this person existed” what did you used to do at this time on a Wednesday?
We need to get on with our lives while allowing the object of our affection to participate freely. In any new exciting relationship t’s natural to want to spend as much time together as possible, but in when you are “in space” don’t become a cling on. This can equally apply when you begin to socialise as a couple. Do you feel the need to be next to your partner for the entire evening like a limpet on a rock? Can you make the effort to circulate and chat to everyone and give each other space? If you are a little insecure meeting your partner’s friends of both sexes for the first time, then let him or her know how you feel and request the occasional hand squeeze or look across the room now and then for a little reassurance. There is something to be said for the expression “if you love something set it free, if it loves you it will come back to you”. When we give the other person in this relationship the permission to have personal space we are being loving, kind and generous. You can float amongst the stars in the galactic wonder of love out in the expanse of space and still be completely connected to each other.
Martin Turner has had a 25 year global career in events which resulted in the book Travel Secrets in 2010 and a new career in journalism and lecturing. A recent graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Art, he has won his way into the heart of the VIDA team while zooming about the planet on new assignments and escapades.
