How Long Does it Take to Fall in Love? A Professional Matchmaker’s Insight

5 min read

How long does it take to fall in love? Is there a difference between men and women? Can science and statistics play a part in finding the perfect partner?

How Long Does it Take to Fall in Love? Men Vs Women

A question subjective to each couples personal scenario, can anyone accurately answer how long it takes to fall in love?

Throughout our lifetime, it’s likely we will experience love, whether it’s platonic or sexual. In this article, we will be exploring how long it takes to fall in love with your significant other.

How long does it take to fall in love scientifically?

While it may be a stretch to calculate the average time it takes to fall in love through numbers and equations, there is some stark evidence that suggests we can use science to help unravel the love equation.

From the research covered, men and women have opposing time frames regarding the ‘L’ word. We explore the question of how long does it take to fall in love statistics below:

How long does it take for men to fall in love?

how long does it take for men to fall in love
According to a research paper published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, it takes just a fifth of a second for people to produce the chemicals that ignite the infamous ‘in-love’ feeling.

Men wait just 88 days to utter the ‘L’ word to their significant other, whereas women wait almost double the amount of time (132 days).

Men are also statistically more likely to remarry after a divorce or death of a spouse. A study conducted by Pew Research Centre in 2013, stated that 64% of men who had been previously married became remarried, in contrast to just 52% of previously married women. The question ‘how long does it take to fall back in love?’ is a question for another time.

How long does it take for guys to fall in love is still subjective and dependent on the man in question. However, from the evidence covered, it may be safe to assume that men jump to those three little words faster than women.

How long does it take for women to fall in love?

how long does it take for women to fall in love

Again, this question is loaded with variables and is subjective to the woman in question, and without taking into account the person they are dating, their own mental head space and their long-term relationship ambitions.

According to dating experts John and David Bennett,

“Women tend to assess feelings of love based on physical attraction along with other factors (including a potential partner’s personality), which means it may take longer for a woman to ‘warm up’ to a potential partner, and the person can grow on her over time”.

This notion is echoed by Nikki Martinez, who states that while men need the initial attraction to begin to get to know the person, “women are very cerebral about things, they are thoughtful about the idea of love [and may therefore take longer to start to love someone]”.

love and science

When women fall in love, their bodies produce norepinephrine (a stress hormone) and phenylethylamine (the love chemical). You may think that the introduction of a stress hormone isn’t positive, especially when associated with love, however, this hormone essentially makes women become more focused on the person she’s dating.

Ever get that feeling where you feel nervous and excited when waiting for a text message from a new partner? That’s a combination of norepinephrine and phenylethylamine. Oxytocin is well-known for breaking down emotional barriers and helping make people feel comfortable with their new partner.

Additionally, women who are sleeping with their partners can expect their feelings to be revealed faster, as orgasms releasing bonding hormones – more so in women. After sex, women release much more oxytocin than men, which further helps build and develop trust with their significant other. Oxytocin also creates that attachment drive; meaning that when your partner isn’t around, you won’t be producing as much oxytocin – you want more, so you want to see them.

A matchmaker’s opinion

In my experience as a professional matchmaker, the principle of falling in love is very simple; if on your first interaction (with a date, for example) you both have a positive experience, you are more likely to develop deeper feelings the more you meet them.

If you continue to display a combination of shared psychological principles, beliefs and values, the relationship can only continue to flourish from there. Love at first site is true for many people, but do not be disheartened if that spark isn’t immediately apparent.

So, how long does it take for someone to fall in love?

how long does it take someone to fall in love
How long does it really take to fall in love is entirely dependent and subjective to the person or people in question, and this is where we can help. Our experienced matchmakers combine psychological principles with professional consulting to create your personal profile and identify potential life partners for you to meet.

Speak with our team of matchmaking professionals

Our offline network or eligible singles is one of the most diverse in the world and we are incredibly proud of the calibre of people within our network.

To learn more about our matchmaking service and how we can help you find your perfect partner, please do not hesitate to speak with one of our dedicated matchmakers today.

| 5 min read


About the Author

Rachel Vida MacLynn

Founder & CEO

Rachel Vida MacLynn is reputed as being a world-leading matchmaking and dating expert. Registered as a Chartered Psychologist with the British Psychological Society, Rachel advocates a professional matchmaking approach based on psychological principles and professional consultation.

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