Having a realistic checklist
The dating scene is likely to feel very different now to what it was when you were in your 20s or 30s. “You are not the same person you were back then,” says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sex and relationships researcher and author of Prime: Adventures And Advice On Sex, Love, And The Sensual Years, and your partner search criteria should reflect that. “Reconsider what the right match is,” says Schwartz. For example, it might have been important to you in your earlier years that your partner have a prestigious job and earn a lot of money. But now, you might be financially stable enough to not view that as a requirement. Be open to these new changes in what you’re after and rather than focusing on the superficial things, look for a few core attributes that are important to what you feel is essential to fostering a close and meaningful relationship.
Dealing with past baggage
Everyone carries some emotional baggage from previous relationships and life experiences, and depending on what those were, it may make it challenging to trust and open up to new partners due to fear of rejection or being hurt. Whatever the baggage make sure you go through a proper process of healing and finding closure before you start searching for a partner for the next chapter of your life.
Adjusting to change
By the time you reach your 50s you’ll have some set patterns of behaviour, set values, beliefs and ideas about how your life should be. This can make you less flexible to accommodating someone else. Other factors such as dealing with your children’s or family’s opinions will also play a big part in how successful your dating journey will be. Open and honest communication, and being open to compromise is key to overcoming those hurdles.
Limited dating pool
The dating pool may feel a lot smaller later in life making it harder to find compatible partners. When you’re looking to date, you have to cast your net wide. And these days there are apps, websites and dating services catering to every age group. Another way of expanding your social circle is finding something you’re passionate about and looking for events that may relate to it – art fairs, cooking courses, book clubs. It’s a great way to meet likeminded people in a more organic setting.
Feeling out of touch
There are multitude of different dating platforms and, as exciting as that is, it can also feel overwhelming trying to navigate that world. Each platform has a unique outlook, a different way of helping you find love, so practice due diligence in finding the one that works best for you. Ask friends who are familiar with the modern dating scene for advice, and see if they think a particular service would best suit your needs.
Dealing with grief and loss
Coming back to dating scene later in life, it’s not uncommon to date divorcees or people who have sadly been widowed. They may still be in the process of healing and dealing with very complex emotions, so patience, an open mind and non-judgemental approach is best. Taking things slowly, emphasising deep conversations and communication are keys to allow the relationship to progress at its own pace.
Facing health concerns
Physical changes or health issues can lower self-esteem, leading to a reluctance to dating and becoming physically involved with someone. If you’re experiencing health-related concerns, visiting a doctor and talking to them about what you need to be aware of before you get physically involved with someone may help put your mind at ease.
Building your confidence
Think about the different activities that make you feel confident, calm and present, and see if you can emulate those and generate that confidence before heading out on a date. Whether it was meditating, dancing, listening to your favourite music or hitting the gym that got you feeling your best, see if it works before a date, too! And if you need a little extra help boosting your dating confidence, well—we can help.
Maclynn International is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in London, New York, New Jersey, and California. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today!