10 Years, 10,000 Conversations: How I Match Singles for a Living

Before joining Maclynn, Tory built a successful career in media spanning more than 15 years. Ten years ago, she chose to channel her passion for people and their stories into something even more meaningful: helping singles find happiness, connection and lasting love. Today, as our Global Head of Membership, she continues to lead with empathy, expertise and an unwavering belief that everyone deserves the opportunity to find the right partner.

In this special anniversary interview, Tory looks back on ten years at Maclynn, sharing the moments that have stayed with her, how the matchmaking industry has evolved, and why she remains as passionate today as she was on her very first day.

I’ve spoken to thousands of singles over the past decade. Every person who walks through our door is keen to really get to grips with how matchmaking works. And they all bring some version of the same basic question: why isn’t dating working for me? The answer is often simpler than they think, and it all comes back to the fact they rarely need more people to choose from, but rather a dramatically smaller selection of the right people.

I used to say I ‘fell into’ matchmaking. But the more I’ve reflected on it, the more I’ve realised a career in matchmaking had been quietly building in my periphery for years, at times even unbeknownst to me.

In the noughties I was forging a career in radio; 7 years in programming, then 7 in advertising. I joined the ranks of some of the country’s biggest radio stations, eventually making it to Deputy Programme Director. I loved it! The pressure, the personalities, the thrill of live broadcasting, communicating to millions in real time.

Then came what I’ll simply term a ‘life moment’, if you know what I mean. A window of stepping back and reevaluating. Paring back my life to its bare components and brutally assessing. Because despite my passion for radio, I had a creeping sense it was no longer fulfilling me.

So I travelled. For 18 months straight. To reignite my love for the world, its people, their stories.

All that time, one of my oldest friends Rachel was there for me. We’d known each other since we were 15. We went to the same grammar school, separated by one school year. (I was the cool kid with a friend in the year above, obviously.) We even ended up at the same uni.

A few years prior she’d founded Maclynn, on the back of a successful career as a chartered psychologist and 4 years at another matchmaking agency. The company was already evolving at pace, building clients, employees, reputation. I worked for them informally as an International Consultant during my travels. And when I finally returned home, Rachel offered me a full-time position managing membership. She convinced me that, if I just joined her in London, I’d love it

10 years on, I can say she was right.

Rachel laughed when I told her. She’d known all along, of course.

Why that first conversation matters so much

The operation was so much smaller when I joined in 2017; just the one office in London; no international teams in New York and LA; a modest membership. Just me and a handful of colleagues, speaking directly to every single who passed through our door.

It’s not a sales call either, not in the traditional sense. It’s what I call a mutual sense check. Are they comfortable speaking to us? Even more importantly, do we feel we can genuinely help them? Because if we don’t, we’ll be straight-up about that.

What singles think they want vs what they discover

If there’s alignment on both sides, we move to a complimentary consultation, in person or online.

We explore them as a person and that’s less of what they do, more who of they are. Why are they here? What’s worked in their dating life so far, and what hasn’t? Where are they experiencing frustration?

And we delve into their relationship history: experiences, patterns, frustrations. What often emerges isn’t just what they want, but what behaviours they’ve repeated through past disappointments.

A decade of these conversations has taught me most singles are struggling because they lack not options, but clarity. Many are numb to a dating scene they feel is meaningless, devoid of authenticity. Some are absolutely done with the same dynamic showing up time and again across different partners: “Why do I keep choosing the same kind of person when I say I want something different?”

From there we analyse the kind of partner they’re looking for, and how fixed or flexible their vision is. Never to dilute their standards of course (we’re proud to have a clientele with very high standards), just to see whether those standards have actually been conducive to the life they want.

If the prospective client is happy to proceed, we send them membership information and await the green light.

What I’ve come to understand about compatibility

Maclynn operates with a long-formulated 5-step matchmaking methodology:

• know yourself
• define your ideal match
• visualise the relationship
• create a plan and put it in motion
• date mindfully, with meaning and purpose.

In practice, though, this is less a rigid framework, more a blueprint empowering our clients to transform their approach to dating:

• It starts with their identity. What drives them? What actually matters to them when you strip back the trappings of image and career? 
• Then we consider how their potential partner’s values would be reflected in their outlook and worldview, as well as how they’d manifest in day-to-day life. Because that’s ultimately where compatibility comes from. It’s not abstract; it lives in our routines, habits, communication style.
• From there we think about relationship dynamic: not just attraction, but how their life and that of their future partner might actually cohere over time. What would that look like?
• Then comes strategy. This is where Maclynn’s world-renowned expertise comes into its own. We don’t just rely on who we know; we actively search, headhunt, explore our globe-spanning network of highly eligible, carefully vetted singles.
• Finally, we encourage our clients to date with care and mindfulness. This is often the stage when they learn most about themselves, their matchmaker by their side every step of the way, helping them make sense of their introductions, communication, and dates.

 

Why we’re different

A lot of singles come to us assuming matchmaking revolves around access. Now sure, our network is vast, comprising tens of thousands of singles either referred by our 200 global ambassadors or curated by our teams in the UK, LA, or NYC. But access is only the surface layer. What truly defines our work is its depth.

Not only is our founder Rachel a chartered psychologist, but many of our team also come from psychology backgrounds. We’re always considering behaviour, attachment, communication; it’s so much more than just a profile on a page.

We also guarantee to…:

• meet every one of your matches ourselves before introducing you. Typically meeting via video call, we get an initial feel for their presence, tone, sense of humour.
• share your match’s photos before you decide on a date. You may be surprised to hear that not all agencies operate this way, keeping their introductions more classically ‘blind date’–style.
• count an ‘introduction’ only as a date itself, not simply sending you a profile.

 

And behind it all, there’s your dedicated matchmaker, yes, but also a whole team, continually conversing, reflecting, learning together through peer supervision, weekly training, and international collaboration.

Maclynn is not a static service; it’s a living, vital system. That’s how we’ve become who we are: proud matchmakers behind countless lifelong relationships, marriages and families all across the globe.

Are you single and looking to settle down with someone more compatible than you ever imagined? Get in touch today to begin your dating journey with Maclynn.

 

 

Tory Miller is Global Head of Membership at Maclynn. With over 15 years’ experience in media, 10 years ago she shifted her love of people and their stories to helping singles find meaning, happiness, and love.