As we celebrate Maclynn’s 15th anniversary, I’ve found myself reflecting on the remarkable people who have shaped our journey over the years. While our purpose has always been to help exceptional singles find meaningful relationships, it’s our team who bring that purpose to life every single day.
Few people embody the heart of Maclynn quite like Tory. Having spent the past decade with Maclynn, she’s witnessed our evolution, supported thousands of members, and helped define the experience that has become synonymous with Maclynn. Her authenticity, intuition and unwavering commitment to our members have made her an invaluable part of our story. I should also add that Tory just happens to be one of my dearest friends, stemming right back to our childhoods. And I can think of no better person to trust with the all-important role of welcoming new members into our service.
To mark ten years since she joined our “dream team,” I sat down with Tory to talk about the moments that have stayed with her, how matchmaking has changed, and why she’s still as passionate about it as she was on day one.
Rachel Vida MacLynn, Founder & CEO
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RM: Let’s go back to the start. You spent 15 years in radio before moving into matchmaking. What sparked the change?
I used to say I “fell into” matchmaking. The more I’ve reflected on it, though, the more I’ve realised it had been quietly building in my periphery for years, even unbeknownst to me.
In the noughties, I built my career in radio, starting on the programming side and working my way up to Deputy Programme Director. I later moved across to the commercial side of the industry, eventually becoming an Account Director for one of the country’s biggest radio groups. I loved radio: the pace, the people, the personalities and the fact that no two days were ever quite the same.
Then life changed quite dramatically for me personally. It was one of those points where the life you’d known suddenly looks very different, and I had the opportunity to decide what I wanted the next chapter to look like.
So, I went travelling. What was originally going to be a few months turned into 18 months, and it was probably one of the most formative periods of my life. I met extraordinary people, experienced completely different cultures and had the freedom to work out what I wanted next.
RM: And that’s when Maclynn came in?
Pretty much! I’d come home after 18 months of travelling, and 13 countries later, I was trying to work out what I wanted to do next. Then you called.
I remember you telling me about Maclynn and asking if I’d consider joining you. Matchmaking certainly hadn’t been on my career plan! But the more we talked about the role, the more I could see why you’d thought of me. It was people, relationships, conversation, understanding what makes someone tick; all things I’d always loved and, without really realising it, had spent much of my career doing.
RM: What do you remember about Maclynn back in those early days?
The team was so much smaller. Just the one office in London, and conversations were just getting underway about setting up a second office in New York. It was me and a handful of colleagues, speaking directly to every single person who walked through our door. The energy in the team was electric as we all found our way and supported each other.
I remember you checking in with me after my first few days in the role, and me saying, “I can't believe this is my job!” Ten years later, I still can't quite believe it sometimes.
RM: Ten years and 10,000-odd conversations later. What actually happens in that first conversation with a client?
It’s a mutual sense check, but it’s also something bigger than that: it’s the start of someone’s next chapter. People don’t come to us just to get set up on dates; they’re stepping onto a new path, and I am honoured to be the first person who walks alongside them on it. That’s not a small thing, and I try never to treat it like one.
We explore each person’s uniqueness. It’s less what they do, more who they are. Why are they here? What’s worked in their dating life so far, and what hasn’t? Where are they feeling stuck? Who do they want to meet? We go into their relationship history. We don’t dwell on it, but what usually emerges isn’t just what someone wants, it’s the pattern they keep repeating without noticing. “Why do I keep choosing the same kind of person when I say I want something different?” comes up more than you’d think.
I remember, in my first few months at Maclynn, meeting an ultra-high-net-worth (UHNW), incredibly impressive, international CEO. He’d been with one woman for most of his adult life and, at one point, held back tears as he admitted he just didn’t know if he could ever find love like that again. I remember listening to him and thinking what a privilege it was that someone I’d only just met trusted me enough to be so raw, vulnerable, brave and open.
I think that week taught me quite early on that there really isn’t a “type” of person who finds dating difficult. However successful, intelligent, confident or gorgeous you are, we’re all human when it comes to this stuff.
RM: You’ve had thousands of those conversations. What’s that like being trusted with people’s dating histories, their disappointments?
Honestly, I still find it a privilege every time. Someone sits down with me, often a total stranger an hour before, and tells me about a heartbreak, a pattern they’re ashamed of, a hope they haven’t said out loud to anyone else. An hour later, most people leave feeling optimistic, energised, empowered. I love having a role that helps people feel good. That trust isn’t something I take for granted, ten years in.
I think a lot of people expect matchmaking to be transactional. It isn’t, not if you’re doing it properly. It’s someone letting you in.
RM: Most people who meet you comment on how quickly you put them at ease. Where does that come from?
I’m very open-minded, have a slightly cheeky sense of humour, and am pretty difficult to shock, which is probably useful in this job.
People often say to me, “That’s such a good question”, when usually I’ve asked something incredibly simple. I think it’s less about clever questions and more about digging into the “why?” and, maybe more importantly, knowing when and how to ask it. People can come with all sorts of objections or very rational reasons why something won’t work, but often when you dig a bit deeper there’s something much more human underneath it. Fear of rejection comes up a lot.
I remember one meeting with a bigshot in the City. She was around 50, put on her best poker face, and gave me absolutely nothing at the beginning. By the end of our meeting we were talking about star signs and rising signs. I love seeing people open up.
I never want anyone walking through our door to feel like they're being assessed. Everyone gets the same warmth from me, whatever their story, whatever they're nervous about admitting. If someone leaves that first conversation feeling more understood than when they arrived, I'm pleased.
RM: What do people think they want, versus what they actually discover?
Most people think their problem is a numbers problem rather than not enough options. It’s almost never that. It’s clarity. Many are numb to a dating scene that feels meaningless, or exhausted by the same dynamic showing up with every partner.
From there, we look at the kind of partner they’re picturing, and how fixed or flexible that picture really is. Never to water down their standards. Our clients have very high standards, and we’re proud of that. We just to check whether those standards are actually getting them closer to the life they want, or quietly keeping them stuck.
RM: What continues to define Maclynn, in your view?
People assume matchmaking is about access. Sure, our network is vast: tens of thousands of singles, referred through Maclynn’s global ambassadors or curated directly by our teams in the UK, LA, and New York. But access is the surface. What I think actually matters is what we do with it: meeting matches ourselves before we suggest them to a client, guiding our clients on how to navigate dating and where to put their energy, and picking up on details that most would overlook.
RM: Ten years in, what keeps you doing this?
The same thing that had me giddy with excitement in week one. I get to meet people at the very start of something; a new way of dating, a new way of understanding themselves, and walk part of that path with them.
I remember meeting a client in her mid-30s with her mum at a coffee shop near Bond Street. When I heard she was bringing her mum I thought, oh God, this could be an interrogation. But it was quite the opposite. Her mum was completely on board with matchmaking, as she’d actually met her own partner through an agency many years before.
She was funny, smart, gorgeous and had no problem meeting men, just apparently always the wrong ones. Her brief to me was basically, “Help me stop dating players”… and her mum very much agreed.
Seven years later, she’s happily married, living between two countries, and baby number three has just arrived.
Every one of those conversations is a reminder of why I do this. Ten years, thousands of people, and it still doesn’t feel like work.
Are you single and looking to settle down with someone more compatible than you ever imagined? Get in touch today to begin your dating journey with Maclynn.
Tory Miller is Global Head of Membership at Maclynn. Ten years ago, she shifted her love of people and their stories to helping singles find meaning, happiness, and love.
