Relationships are hard – a statement you have heard a million times or even felt yourself, am sure. Even the happiest of couples admit that keeping their love alive isn’t easy. Sustaining a joyous, loving relationship takes work and willingness to understand and support each other, but also give each other space to grow. So what do happy couples do to build a strong relationship and ensure a long future together?
They share common values.
These are the most important indicators of how successful you’ll be as a couple. Being in constant disagreement about the fundamental things in life that are important to you is not sustainable long-term and will wear a relationship down quickly. Working out your own core values and finding someone who truly shares your outlook on life, is a key component to long-term happiness in a relationship.
Happy couples don’t experience fewer challenges than the rest of us, they just deal with them differently. It’s important to keep talking when setbacks happen, no matter how anxious or tense you might feel. Sharing the load and coming to a practical solution together, help you strengthen and build confidence in your partnership.
They stay physically close.
Physical closeness and affection, like regular touching, hugs, kisses and hand-holding all help build and reinforce that special bond. A report published few years ago in The Journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that those couples who had been married for more than 10 years and still described themselves as ‘intensely in-love’, were also the couples who showed most affection towards each other.
They check in with each other.
Don’t take each other for granted. Check in with your partner regularly, discuss opinions and hopes for the future, make them aware of what you need support with. We are all individuals and as humans, we grow and evolve along the way; don’t assume you know absolutely everything about your other half.
They understand each others’ love languages.
As we each perceive and feel love in different ways, the key to a great relationship is to learn to speak the ‘love language’ of your partner. His/hers definition of what loves means, and what it means to be loved, might be different to yours. Find out what turns your partner on, what satisfies them emotionally, what kind of affection and reassurance they need. This will lead to a partnership that is strong and built on empathy, compassion, mutual understanding and support.
They are committed.
It may sound obvious, but you both have to want to be in the relationship to make it work. You have to show good will; prove that you to want to resolve issues and see them through. Quoting a relationship psychologist and author Susan Quillam:
“From the outside looking in, other people’s relationships can look effortlessly strong. However, this is rarely the case. Good relationships take work and constant attention. Being in a long-term, committed relationship means finding a way to retain our own identity while making room for someone else’s at the same time as creating a new one – an ‘us’ or ‘we’, rather than an ‘I’ or ‘me’ – each party is able to take on and share their partner’s life goals.”
At Maclynn (formerly Vida), we work closely with our clients with the ultimate aim of getting them into long-term relationships. It is a very personal and bespoke service and as we move into 2021, with many uncertainties still ahead, one thing is for sure, my team and I are ready and well prepared to continue our Cupid work. Get in touch and let us help you find your special someone to share life with.