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Reassess your expectations
When you’re searching for The One, I ask you to begin a journey of self-enquiry to question what is truly important and whether your ‘list’ of requirements actually exist in a real person. Do you really need someone who speaks more than five languages, is taller than 6 ft 2 and only travels by private jet? Are you hindering your own chances of finding love?
Psychologists Sarah Vannier and Lucia O’Sullivan found that unmet ideal expectations have a harmful impact on relationship satisfaction and commitment when dating. So whilst I’m not implying that you lower your standards, I’d advise adopting a more holistic standpoint.
Physical attraction and financial security are important, but you should also consider focusing on mutual goals, shared values, attitudes and energies. You may be pleasantly surprised by how compatible you could be with someone, after taking some time to connect with them. So consider reassessing your expectations and giving your time to someone who shows promise.
If you need some help separating the real ‘deal breakers’ from bells and whistles, our team of Matchmakers are here to help!
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Maximise your opportunities
Perhaps you have been looking, but not really seeing…
What do I mean by this? Well, are you making the most of everyday encounters? Whether grabbing your morning coffee, picking up groceries after work, or taking the dog for a walk, every social environment offers opportunities holding potential; you have the autonomy to seize those moments.
Make a conscious effort to be open-minded, smile, make eye contact and be willing to say Hi! Meeting your Mr or Ms Right could happen anywhere (often in ways you may least expect), so exude an aura of approachability and never be so quick to dismiss anything!
You should also consider expanding your social circle by putting yourself in new places and situations. Psychologist Steve Carter identifies the simple logic; increasing your network boosts your chances of meeting someone you are compatible with! Besides, you never know who might introduce you to your match.
If you’re looking to find fun events and activities where you can meet energetic, attractive and successful people similar to you, why not get in touch with our wonderful Barbara – Maclynn’s expert host of the best and friendliest singles’ parties at stunning venues, creating the ideal setting for specially-invited guests to meet and connect.
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Cultivate self-acceptance
Leo Buscaglia once said that loving oneself is the foundation upon which we can begin to open our hearts to another. But perhaps it’s not possible to wholly love oneself all of the time. Perhaps all we need to do is be comfortable in our own skin, flaws and all. Psychologists Leon Seltzer and Juliana Brines argue, that once we accept that we may not always be the most ideal representation of ourselves, it is possible to become comfortable in viewing ourselves as a good person, worthy of love, without the need to prove oneself or outshine others. This quiet confidence is not only invigorating and liberating, but also inherently attractive.
In other words, reframing our perspective all starts with our thoughts.
We know that it can be challenging to find sustainable ways to rewire patterns of thought on your own, so our dating and relationship expert Madeleine Mason is committed to coaching anyone who feels stuck on this journey.
