What not to talk about on a date

Tiny raindrops of love have hit the parched landscape of your dating life and you have landed a date with someone you’re interested in, the pressure is on. What to talk about? Or more importantly what not to talk about. Top tips as follows:

WOMEN
Diet – Talking about your dieting successes and failures may be brilliant if you are a stand-up comedian with a razor sharp wit. Avoid talking about your fridge and menu planning as they headline insecurity and draw attention to your physical opinions and potential obsessions. Speaking about your lean and clean diet like you’ve found Jesus is a signpost to our next don’t.
Religion – Fashion may be your religion, but if Buddhism or a rant about your oppressive Catholic upbringing are on your order of service, you will be heading straight for the Matchmaker confessional following. Don’t commit this sin, it’s not worth it, and a minefield that even Princess Diana could not have negotiated without a blow up.
Past relationships – You will likely be asked about recent or past relationships on a date, but you need to handle this with dexterity and positive affirmations. If you say that your last boyfriend’s real name should have been Richard Cranium and the one before him was a psycho, your date is likely to see a pattern and flee the scene.
Your dysfunctional family – Delving into the details of your alcoholic father, your estranged Sister, your addict cousin, and the fact that you don’t believe the woman billed as your Mother is in fact the real one, may be too much on a first date. Stick to the headlines and avoid the soap opera.
Babies – Is your reproductive clock ticking so loudly your date is looking for the crocodile as if you are both on the deck of Captain Hook’s ship? Endless and desperate ranting about your need to meet the baby deadline is likely to catapult your date overboard immediately.

MEN
Politics – Launching into a tirade about whether the UK should or should not remain in the European Union, or your pointed views on the refugee crisis may not be to everyone’s taste. It’s good to remember that these subjects while intellectually stimulating, are in fact rather depressing and not likely to lift the mood.
Salary – Women can take care of themselves thanks very much, so unless your date has gold digger written all over her, it’s not time to reveal you are gold finger. Boasting is a dreadful quality at the best of times, so spouting about your financial success is not going to get you the Bond girl. Quiet class will get you everywhere, money will only buy you love for the night.
Sport – Being a rugby player is hot. Hogging acres of conversation with talk of the premiership league table is not, unless your said date reveals early on they are a fanatic themselves. If you want to score a goal on a first date, by all means mention your passion, but make sure she’s the one on the podium.
Online dating – You may be as funny as Seinfeld, but a set about your online dating experiences could well induce laughter while pushing your date away. You may come across as just a little too experienced with Tinder which will set off warning bells that you may not want to kick the online habit.
Your Medical issues – Unless you have something valid and important to share like the cast of Undateables, then trotting out your medical report is dating death. Your achy breaky romantic heart is ok, your verruca’s are not. If its halitosis then you have likely already helped glue her eyebrows back on.