My Long Distance Relationship Survived – and Yours Can Too!

4 min read

One of my favourite icebreakers in conversation is subtly dropping the, “my partner of 5 years and I did 2.5 years of long distance” and watching the confusion, curiosity and cynicism spread over my audience’s faces as they realise we survived, and actually became surprisingly good at, long distance.

Now, I wouldn’t think that anyone goes into long distance thinking, “Amazing! Yes! So excited to NOT see my partner!”, however, it is a sacrifice that some couples are willing to make in order to work towards the long-term goal of ending up together.

The most asked question is, “well, how are we going to make this work?” usually asked with an undertone flavoured with uncertainty, anxiety, and apprehension.

Putting my personal biases aside – believing that if both partners completely and truly want to be together, they will work it out – I will walk you through some research indicating that long distance relationships can and do work out successfully.

What do the numbers say?

So, how many long-distance relationships do succeed?

2018 survey found that 60% of long-distance relationships last, with 55% of these participants claiming that having been in a long-distance relationship helped them to feel closer to their partner. Further, 69% indicated that they spoke to their partner more during their time apart, and 81% felt that being apart from their partner made real-life visits more intimate and special than usual.

It is also important to look at the health of relationships that are lasting during long-distance and what tips or tricks they may use to sustain it. In the book, Maintaining Long-Distance and Cross-Residential Relationshipsauthor Laura Stafford asserts that long-distance relationships are often more stable than geographically-close ones as she writes, “most studies have found equal or even higher levels of satisfaction, commitment, and trust in long-distance dating relationships compared to geographically close ones.”

Similar to a geographically-close dating relationship, long-distance relationships require trust, communication, and vulnerability – arguably even more than geographically-close relationships. With the lines of communication remaining open and effort being made from both parties to keep the spark alive by way of FaceTime dates, writing handwritten letters, and/or updating each other throughout your days, long-distance dating relationships can be built to last.

How do we ensure our long-distance relationship is going to last?

While there are no guarantees, there are practical steps you can take in nurturing and maintaining a healthy long-distance relationship:

  1. ‘Communicating over a variety of platforms to make up for the constraints of each’, Atlantic writer Joe Pinkser states. The beauty of social media in all of its’ shapes and sizes today is that the lines of communication are able to stay versatile and fresh for you and your partner – message them Tiktoks that you know will make them laugh, share a cute picture of them on your Instagram story or send them date ideas that you can’t wait to experience the next time you are together.
  2. Share small, mundane details and, when possible, everyday experiences, such as streaming a movie together. The simplicity of watching a movie or tv show together is something my partner and I dearly missed during our time apart, so the invention of Teleparty was a fantastic way for us to schedule in a virtual date night and spend quality time together – apart.
  3. Lastly, remember that finally living together might be an adjustment. If you have made it through the peaks and troughs of long distance, the biggest challenge may come from when you are actually living together and the distance is over. Rather than throwing away everything you have worked towards, try to compromise on certain things and learn more about your partner in this new dynamic. If possible, set boundaries for your expectations when it comes to house chores, time together, and work/life balance now that geographical distance is no longer an issue. Finally – relish the fact that you are now able to kiss, hug, and laugh with your partner in person.

While a long-distance relationship can’t be sustained indefinitely, it’s certainly a means to an end when you meet somebody truly extraordinary, who blows your world wide open in a way you’ve never experienced before. And if you need a little assistance meeting that special someone—near or far—we can help.

Maclynn is an elite, multi-award-winning international dating agency. Our global network boasts some of the world’s most impressive singletons. While we do of course factor geography into the equation when pairing people up for dates, it’s ultimately, of course, at the discretion of the two individuals how far they’re willing to travel to find love. So get in touch today, and we’ll help you meet that one person with whom your romance could be all-encompassing—even if they do live out of town.

Grace Plows

About the Author

Grace Plows

Originally from Virginia, USA, Grace lived in many areas along the East Coast before settling in California where she completed her Undergraduate studies. She later completed a study abroad year in London but fell in love with the city and decided to pursue living there long-term. Grace holds a First-Class Honours degree in Psychology from Biola University as well as a Master’s of Science in Psychology from The University of Westminster. Her passions lie within understanding attachment styles, communication within relationships and analysing the complex dynamics between romantic partners. Grace‘s extensive knowledge of psychological principles, interest in romantic relationships, and her bubbly and positive energy make her a natural fit as a Matchmaker.

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