Meet the Matchmaker: A Conversation with Grace Plows

As part of our “meet the team” series, we’re chatting with Grace from our London office. With a First-Class Honours degree in Psychology and a Master’s of Science in Psychology, Grace brings a unique blend of academic expertise and natural charisma to her role. With a passion for understanding attachment styles and relationship dynamics, Grace has a unique perspective that translates into her success as a matchmaker.

What is your favourite thing about being a matchmaker?

My favourite thing about being a matchmaker, aside from getting individuals into relationships, is having a front-row seat to the personal journey my clients go on. Seeing them go out of their comfort zones, meet different types of people, be introspective and grow as individuals is the most rewarding part of the job to me. My clients learn so much about themselves and what they are looking for in a partner through this service, and being able to support them is extremely rewarding.

What is your favourite match story?

My client (37-year-old female in London) had her own business in the entertainment industry and had been unlucky in love. She came from a well-established family, was an absolute ray of sunshine and had so much to offer a potential partner. Her past relationships had been long-lasting and ended amicably, but she wasn’t meeting the right type of man for what she was looking for (e.g., emotionally available, able to be adaptable in different environments, socially confident, fun!) During her time with me, she had some memorable dates and met some interesting men, but hadn’t met anybody that she could envision herself with. Feeling disheartened, I received a profile from one of our partner agencies of a man who looked like he ticked nearly every box that my client was looking for, while still having lots to offer otherwise. As he was younger than she had normally dated and didn’t seem to socialise in the same circles, I took a risk and presented his profile to her as the last match of her membership. Flash forward to now, a few months later, they are still together and stronger than ever. I have received pictures of them on holiday together looking very loved up, ‘extremely happy’, and expectant for the future.

How does your psychology background play a part in your role?

My psychology background is mostly evident when it comes to working with different people from different backgrounds and understanding their attachment styles, love languages and communication styles. As our matchmaking is values-based, learning what each client values brings me a deeper understanding into who they are as people and what from their background has made them value what they do. Whilst I am not a therapist, I find psychological theories such as attachment styles and love languages to be extremely beneficial when it comes to helping clients on their dating journeys.

What does your day as a matchmaker look like?

Checking in with clients, Teams calls with potential matches for clients, exchanging numbers, admin, planning dates, internal team meetings, presenting profiles of potential matches to clients, getting date feedback from a client and a match, headhunting, admin, speaking with partner agencies, creating content for my matchmaking Instagram, popping downstairs for a coffee (or 3).

Do you plan dates for your clients?

Sometimes! It depends on the client. Some clients prefer to have me take charge of date planning as it keeps the ‘boring admin’ out of their conversation, however some clients like to plan between themselves and the date. I also help to schedule video calls for international matches.

Do you like hearing how your clients’ dates went?

Absolutely! I think it’s incredibly important to hear how dates went, good or bad. All feedback is helpful when it comes to dating behaviours. Obviously, it’s much nicer to hear about dates that went well, but sometimes the negative feedback can be more helpful as it may bring to light something that my client wasn’t aware of.

Tell us about a client you’re working with right now?

One of my incredible clients right now is a very impressive Ivy-League educated individual working for an international organisation. She has lived all over the world, speaks many languages, has incredible hobbies and I am amazed by her warmth, empathy and humility every time I speak with her. She is looking for an emotionally intelligent, open-minded, intellectual and international gentleman to hopefully start a family with. She is a true global citizen, and I feel lucky to be working with her on this journey!

What are the 3 green flags in a new relationship?

Definitely a lack of clear and open communication, where partners struggle to express their feelings, and actions not matching words, leading to distrust. Additionally, if boundaries are not respected, it signals a lack of respect for individual needs and values.

What are 3 red flags in a new relationship?

Game playing is the worst – where one partner manipulates situations for control, and a lack of compromise is also hard to come back from; it really indicates an unwillingness to meet halfway. Additionally, extreme jealousy and possessiveness can signal insecurity and control issues that are unhealthy in a relationship – that sort of behaviour rarely goes away.

Tell us about your life outside of work?

Filled with reading books, trying new recipes (have just received Ottolenghi’s Simple Cookbook as a birthday gift!), spending time with my 3.5 year old cockapoo Leo, seeing friends for an Aperol Spritz or 2, regular Facetimes with my family back in the States, day trips around the UK, weekend trips further afield, watching television and movies, playing tennis (badly), practising pilates (well), listening to music, going to West End shows, browsing charity shops, intentional quality time with those I love most.