How to Keep a Relationship Exciting

4 min read

The truth is, over time, our feelings and dynamics in our relationships do change. As much as we try to stay in the sparkly, exhilarating honeymoon phase for as long as we can, it inevitably comes to an end. However, this does not mean that these feelings must disappear forever; they simply evolve. The feelings of excitement and butterflies in relationships do not have to be sentenced to the beginning stages of a relationship – there are many ways to keep them alive even decades down the line.

When the spark initially feels as it is ‘fading’ from a relationship, many couples either wonder if they are with the right person or are wondering how to keep their partner interested in them. These times can feel uncertain and mundane, but that does not have to equate to a death sentence for the relationship. Rather than throwing in the towel and accepting the boring feeling, try investing your creativity and time into your relationship and partner. While it’s normal to lose the ‘spark’ in a relationship once you are comfortable, it is not forever lost – even so, there are steps you can take now to avoid losing the spark at all!

Keep physical touch frequent and intimate.

Intimacy is the difference between a friend and a partner, and it doesn’t always have to mean sex. Tony Robbins, a life coach and leadership psychologist, writes that holding hands, cuddling, warm hugs and giving compliments are all a part of intimacy, and the spark in a relationship is directly affected by them.

Ensure that you are initiating physical touch with your partner in small and large ways: a bear hug after a long day at work, holding hands while running errands, or cuddling together on the sofa watching a film. Even if physical touch isn’t your main love language, there are still ways of ensuring the spark is kept alive and intimacy is a main focus in your relationship.

Date nights!

Yes, life gets busy for EVERYONE. For some reason, intentional date nights seem to be the first to go when a relationship passes the ‘honeymoon stage’, but they should be one of the main priorities. Dating your partner (even if you have been together for 15 years) is one of the best ways to keep them and you interested and invested in the relationship. Psych Central writes that frequent dating helps you build a connection, make memories together, and ensure that fun is kept as a central component to your partnership.

A special idea for reigniting the spark via going on dates is to take your partner back to where you had your first date. By visiting the same environment that you first spent intentional time together, you can remind your partner or why they fell for you in the first place. It will likely bring back fond memories and can reignite the excitement of how it feels to fall in love again.

Laugh together

The ability to laugh together is a true sign of vitality in a relationship. It’s important to be able to share in and experience joy together. Psych Alive affirms that a sense of humour can help smooth the waters when our interactions become stormy. When the spark has faded and excitement has worn off, being able to laugh at our shortcomings and at our partner’s idiosyncrasies can steer us away from unwarranted dramas and keep our relationship alive.

By showing excitement and sharing jokes together, your relationship can’t help but feel alive and invigorated again. Further, it shows a deeper sense of commitment and love to not let your emotions get the best of you when you are feeling upset or angry. By treating your partner with empathy and kindness, and not being afraid to laugh at yourself, their heart will inevitably stay softened towards you and the love will remain.

Altogether, feeling as if you are losing the excitement or spark in your relationship can be hard to accept. It’s a fact of life that all relationships – platonic or romantic – will go through ebbs and flows. However, if you want to ensure that your romantic relationship will last through every season and keep both parties invested, there are many ideas and options available to do so. Making time for each other, initiating physical contact, and laughing together are just a few examples of ways to light the fuse.

If you find that you are struggling to keep the spark alive in your relationship and would like further advice about how to manage the minor annoyances and frustrations, or to get tips on how to reconnect with your partner in a more meaningful way, get in touch today and book in a complimentary consultation with me.

Grace Plows

About the Author

Grace Plows

Originally from Virginia, USA, Grace lived in many areas along the East Coast before settling in California where she completed her Undergraduate studies. She later completed a study abroad year in London but fell in love with the city and decided to pursue living there long-term. Grace holds a First-Class Honours degree in Psychology from Biola University as well as a Master’s of Science in Psychology from The University of Westminster. Her passions lie within understanding attachment styles, communication within relationships and analysing the complex dynamics between romantic partners. Grace‘s extensive knowledge of psychological principles, interest in romantic relationships, and her bubbly and positive energy make her a natural fit as a Matchmaker.

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