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Fear of Commitment is a disease that is rampant in the dating world. In a fast food society, swiping left or right on Tinder makes the transient nature of human interaction perfect for the commitment phoebes. Can you honestly front up at the mirror and say clearly and directly – I am ready for a committed relationship? Or are you always looking over your shoulder to survey the landscape for other possibilities? In your 20’s and 30’s it may all seem too readily available. So why tie yourself down with just one when you can potentially have it all?
Conversely, as you slip into your 40’s and 50’s, have you been down the long-term relationship route already? Or have you been married only to have your heart broken and spent years repairing your damaged soul? If you are in the latter group, you could be schlepping around a wagon load of emotional baggage that has you sitting on the platform at Fear of Commitment Central going nowhere at all.
You’re never going to catch the love train while you have a fear of commitment. It will prevent you from a relationship or sabotaging it before it has a chance to happen. Love comes with risk, and yes you could get hurt again. However, if you aren’t willing to be hurt, it’s never going to find you. Seize the day and approach dating with gusto and without hang ups. There is a likely chance of getting bumped and bruised emotionally along the way. However, if you’re not open to a relationship, your date will get the message faster than you can imagine. While you think you are hiding your fear of commitment, it may be plastered all over you like a billboard with a neon sign flashing overhead: “Do not approach, not willing to commit”.
If we’re going to go all self-help book over this, feel the fear and do it anyway. You may be wiser, smarter, and sharper, but it doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable, kind, open and willing. Commit to yourself and realise you’re brilliant and that while you may have been disappointed in the past, it shouldn’t taint your heart to such an extent that you can’t let someone else in.
“We have to recognize that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ―Cornel West
