Are you married to your job? This may be a cliché statement, but one that rings true to many people who consider themselves ‘successful’. Success is typically associated with career status, earnings and achievements. But while your professional achievements catapult into the stratosphere, has your romantic relationship plummeted into a gloomy void as a consequence?
Is it possible to be successful in career AND romantic relationships simultaneously? Is there a knack to getting this right?
I am a matchmaker for ‘successful’ men and women, but I also happen to have completed my Masters in Occupational Psychology. I have dedicated my career to helping people become successful in work and also in love. The underlying principles I apply are largely the same.
Here are five tips I have shared with clients over the years to help them become successful in love, using the same principles that also help them become successful in their career.
- Observe success. Look at people around you – colleagues, friends, relatives who seem to have it all. A loving, healthy relationship, a booming career and a clear sense of happiness/fulfilment. These people can inspire you to achieve the same overall balance of success by simply observing their behaviours and values. Does he stay in the office until 11pm every night to stay ahead of the game, or does he make sure he dedicates at least 2-3 nights per week to investing into his personal life? Does she frequently cancel plans for supper with friends last minute because she has an early start at work tomorrow, or does she recognise that spending time with friends is just as important.
- Define what success looks like for you. Whether it’s career planning or husband hunting, our team of coaches and matchmakers alike will work with you to define your ‘goal’. Your career goal may be to reach CEO level by the time you’re 40, and your relationship goal may be to by married with 2 children also by 40. Once you have set the overall goal, you need to break this down into measurable, manageable steps. To reach your career goal, you may need to do some training, and to achieve your relationship goal, you may need coaching. You may also need to realign your expectations! This topic deserves a blog of its own, so I won’t elaborate too much here, but in a nutshell, if your goal is unrealistic then you won’t achieve it, and many MANY single people set themselves up for failure by looking for the wrong type of partner in the first place. This is one of the most important roles of a professional matchmaker, to help define success accurately with their clients and then help them achieve that goal.
- Be proactive in finding your ideal. It’s obvious that you can’t just say you want to be successful in career or love and then sit back and wait for it to happen. You need to take responsibility and be proactive. When you want to climb the career ladder, you look for opportunities for promotion, or you take a step up by looking for a new job. You actively seek success. When you are seeking a life partner you also need to be proactive especially if you live in a cosmopolitan city like London, which is populated with a multitude of different cultures and therefore the hopes of marrying the girl next door is unlikely to happen. Let’s face it, if you live in prime Central London, ‘the girl next door’ is probably an overseas investor who seldom visits the city!
- Choose your dating service. Career progression can be achieved with the use of recruitment consultants, head-hunters, or networking. You can proactively seek a partner in a number of ways: if you have lots of time, and little need for discretion, then why not try a dating site or App. If you’re as keen on meeting new friends along the way and boosting your social life, then perhaps singles events are the way forward; such as Maclynn8 events, which is part of Maclynn Consultancy. Or, if you have the financial means and are rather more discerning about the quality of person you meet, and also time-poor, then matchmaking is something you should consider. Our team at Maclynn Consultancy would love to hear from you!
- Identify the right match for you. When choosing a new job, your employer will assess if you will fit in the team and the overall corporate culture. Every business has a vision and set of values. Successful employees will recognise and follow these values, helping drive the business towards success. Similarly, a compatible romantic partner will be someone who reflects your core values and aspirations for the future. Our matchmakers will help you recognise what your own values are, and then aim to match these values with the right job, or partner!
