At its core, FWB is a casual arrangement between two individuals consisting only of physical intimacy with no strings attached. Or in other words, no commitment of a romantic or emotional relationship. The dynamics of a FWB are often complex, multifaceted, and can be somewhat ‘messy’.
In this blog I will be delving into the nuances of FWB relationships, covering both the benefits and challenges that come with them, plus the considerations that are essential to make when entering this novel relationship type.
The Benefits of a FWB Relationship
1. Freedom and flexibility
FWB relationships provide individuals with emotional freedom and independence. The constraints of a traditional romantic partnership are absent and there is no need for exclusivity or monogamy.
This significantly reduces the demands and expectations that come with a relationship, allowing individuals to maintain focus on other areas of their life that are important to them. Whether that be your career, education or personal goals, there is no requirement to split your attention between your commitments and a relationship. Individual autonomy can be preserved.
This flexibility would be particularly good for someone that leads a busy lifestyle, or perhaps someone that just isn’t quite ready to emotionally commit to a partner.
2. Sexual satisfaction
Sexual satisfaction is central to the FWB arrangement. Exploring and experimenting with your desires, while being in a casual and consensual environment, is a great advantage. It can also feel easier to communicate your boundaries, preferences and expectations which can improve the experience. Overall, there is less fear of judgement and pressure to conform to societal norms, allowing personal exploration.
3. Less pressure
Engaging in physical intimacy without any emotional entanglement can really help to relieve a massive pressure that comes hand-in-hand with a traditional relationship. There are no obligations to act in a certain way and instead the primary focus is simply sexual satisfaction. This can help both individuals to relax and enjoy the experience, rather than worrying about meeting relationship milestones such as exclusivity.
The Drawbacks of FWB:
1. Emotional complications
Even though the intention of a FWB relationship is to isolate emotions from physical intimacy, it can be very difficult to avoid becoming attached. We are hardwired to form meaningful and emotional connections to one another and so it’s not surprising that feelings can develop over time.
It has been reported that developing emotional complications occurs in 22% of FWB relationships. This can result in a ‘situationship’ – a relationship that is not clearly defined or labelled, often involving emotional intimacy but lacking clear commitment.
Of course, every relationship is unique and the likelihood of a FWB arrangement turning into a ‘situationship’ depends entirely on the individuals involved. Keeping communication open and consistent is vital to prevent these boundaries from being blurred.
2. Feelings of jealousy
Despite both parties agreeing to keep it casual, feelings of jealousy, hurt and betrayal can arise where one individual starts seeking a more serious arrangement. Seeing or hearing about other romantic and/or sexual encounters can trigger these emotions, where sexual jealousy can cause real distress to individuals. Parties must be prepared to navigate these emotions with maturity and honesty, addressing any changes in feelings or expectations as they arise.
3. Lack of emotional support
Although the absence of emotional entanglement may be the reason for engaging in a FWB relationship in the first place, individuals can start to feel emotionally unfulfilled. Your FWB won’t be able to provide you with the emotional support or care that is typically found in a committed relationship, which can be challenging when you may be facing a difficult time in your personal life. You need to fully understand what you are signing up for to avoid feeling unfulfilled.
Friends with Benefits: A Matchmaker’s Perspective
FWB arrangements offer a versatile alternative to traditional relationships for those seeking intimacy beyond conventional labels. While FWB relationships come with their own set of challenges, they can also offer valuable opportunities for personal growth, self-discovery, and empowerment.
As a matchmaker, I think it’s essential to weigh up the benefits against these potential negatives and take into account three essential considerations:
- Firstly, clear boundaries and ground rules must be set – everyone’s expectations need to be fulfilled so that both individuals are content.
- Honest communication, always; discuss the nature of the connection honestly from the get-go and keep an open line of communication.
- Lastly, be realistic about what you are looking to gain from the relationship. A FWB relationship should work in harmony with you, rather than preventing you from finding a long-term committed partner.
Expert Relationship Insights and Support
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