1. Yes, first impressions are important but don’t stress!
You don’t necessarily have to come dressed to the high heavens but it’s important to take some pride in your appearance. Pick an outfit that’s smart, reflects your personality and you feel comfortable wearing. Showing pride in your appearance shows maturity and that you respect the person sitting opposite.
Also, it may go without saying but showing up on time is essential. If anything, try to arrive slightly earlier so you aren’t leaving them waiting, plus it shows you’re able to organise and keep track of your diary, always a positive personality trait!
2. Don’t stress about a location, pick somewhere that’s comfortable for both of you
Just because you have shared interests in extreme sports, doesn’t mean abseiling or bungee jumping is an ideal first date activity. Instead, pick somewhere that’s familiar and comfortable for both of you and a place you’re able to talk. Going out for lunch, dinner or even a coffee or a few drinks is comfortable and casual. Remember that the first few dates are about getting to know each other, so it’s important you’re able to talk openly and in a comfortable location.
3. Be yourself and you’ll feel more confident
Dating, whether it’s for the first time or not is always a nervy experience! Whether you’re naturally confident or a bit shy, choose subjects that you’re enthusiastic about. This will put you at ease and you will naturally feel more confident talking about something you know well (such as a hobby or your career).
It’s also important to be comfortable in your own skin; people are more attracted to those who aren’t afraid to be themselves.
4. Don’t be afraid to talk about yourself
It’s all well and good being the mysterious guy or girl in the corner that doesn’t talk too much and leads a life of mystery, but this doesn’t really work when trying to get to know someone for the first time. Yes, it’s important to ask questions and get to know your date a little better but it’s equally important to chat about your hobbies and interests.
You don’t have to overshare on the first date (especially if you’re shy or it isn’t natural for you to be open with new people), but talking about your interests opens up more avenues for dialogue and conversation and allows your date to get to know you a little better.
5. Don’t have unrealistic expectations – it’s the first date!
Some of us look for that ‘thunderbolt’ moment during the first date, that special something that makes you think “WOW, he/she might be the one” but relying on this expectation can usually end in disappointment.
Be realistic and be open on your first date. It may be that you require more than a few meet-ups to really get to know them and whether you’d like to take things further. Don’t expect to get their whole story and understand them inside out on the first date. Of course, if it’s clear that you aren’t connecting on the first date, then be considerate and politely tell them you’re not a great match.
6. Don’t worry about age
Age has long been one of the biggest stigmas when it comes to dating, but this stigma is fading and rightly so, in my opinion. Many people find themselves stuck in the ‘age gap’ criteria and have preconceived issues with dating someone older or even younger than themselves.
Of course, a 30+ year age gap is more significant than, say, a 10 year age gap and I’m not advocating that dating someone 30 years older than you is the right decision for you. However, if you begin dating someone who was older than you and you enjoy their company, they respect you and make you feel valued, would you stop seeing them simply because they’re a bit older?
It’s important to identify what you’re looking for in a relationship before you worry about age. If the person in front of you is ticking all the right boxes and you can see a future with them, then age shouldn’t be a factor for either of you.
For more information read our article ‘Mind the Gap – The Age Gap’ which goes into detail about age differences in dating.
7. Don’t talk about your ex!
An obvious one but still important to mention. No one wants the majority of the evening to be taken up by explaining why your past relationships didn’t work out, it can come across like you’re still hung up on your ex or that you’re trying to justify something to yourself. The first date is about new beginnings and getting to know someone away from their past relationships. With that being said, it is important to be confident enough to talk about your past relationships but not during the first date.
Dating advice from professional matchmakers
Dating advice for men and women typically follow the same rules: be kind, be open and be honest! Being comfortable with who you are and allowing you to be yourself, will be instantly noticeable and will make the first date experience easier and more relaxed.
From first and second date advice, all the way to finding your perfect partner, our team of experienced matchmakers are here to offer their expert advice. During your bespoke service, we will go on a journey together to build your personal profile to help match you with exceptional people.
You can become a Private Member today by enquiring, or if you’d like to learn more about our bespoke matchmaking service, please call or email our friendly team today.
Alternatively, for more dating tips and advice, you can explore the rest of our blogs.
