For many, being single at Christmas doesn’t really make it feel like ‘the most wonderful time of the year’. With impossibly cheery Yuletide films playing on repeat and holly-jolly jingles reverberating through every shop, you can’t escape the season of joy no matter how hard you try.
Yet big events—especially birthdays and Christmas— remind some singles that they’re not yet happily coupled. As they survey the expanse of the town, the cinema, the party, they perceive loved-up couples left right and centre, and it can be a lonely time. Particularly if this is the first Christmas since a breakup or divorce. There’s no doubt about it—being single at Christmas serves up a bigger helping of existential angst than unbridled happiness.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. With a little reframing, you can start to see the positives about being single and free to mingle this Noël. Happiness isn’t something found from without in the form of a partner, but from within in the form of self-acceptance and genuine contentment. And yes, that’s coming from a matchmaker!—and I say that with confidence. Because true love (and the happiness that stems from it) comes about with true compatibility. That means you can’t rush love—and so for now it’s best to focus on loving you, and doing the things that make you happy. In time, someone special will recognise you for the gem you are—and in the meantime, here are my 5 top tips for not only accepting your singledom this Christmas, but wholeheartedly embracing it and diving headfirst into the festivities!
Get out of the house
It’s so easy to fall into a cycle of loneliness and aimlessness in those four walls, especially if you’re on your own. People are more gregarious at Christmas than at any other time, so make the most of that and ask a friend for a coffee, or to head to that new bar in town, or to go present shopping. You can’t underestimate the power of just spending time with a friend who loves you for who you are, and who places immense value simply on being around you.
So even if you don’t feel like taking off the reindeer onesie and traipsing out your front door—do it. Because that feeling itself is actually the pernicious manifestation of your loneliness, and the only way to overcome it is to hang out with someone with whom you can just be yourself. In no time at all you’ll be having a fabulous time, and wonder what you were doing stuck at home!
We are social beings—that’s why we need to get out the house. But furthermore, helping others makes us feel good. It’s a win–win. And what better time to go out in the world and sprinkle a little charity and joy into someone else’s life than Christmas? Volunteering is a great place to start, and there’s no shortage of people in need and worthy causes to get involved with.
What’s more, helping others actually stimulates the release of dopamine and oxytocin, the neurotransmitters that make us feel fantastic. Volunteering has been associated with reduced symptoms of stress and depression, better health, and increased longevity. And by mixing with like-minded individuals, who knows where it could lead?
Perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself this Christmas is gratitude. We’re all experts when it comes to focusing on the negative, but by channelling your time and energy into the bad stuff you don’t just compromise your wellbeing, but fail to see the joy and goodness inherent in so many aspects of life, too.
So regardless of your situation, remember: our individualistic culture makes us home in on the we, on the I, and it’s easy to get lost in our bubbles. But the world doesn’t revolve around us, and we have much to be grateful for. When better a time to start showing some self-love than at Christmas? And don’t forget, the kinder you are to yourself, the more you will glow with an endless aura of optimism and vitality in the eyes of others—including future romantic prospects.
Reevaluate your purpose
Christmas is an opportune time to reflect on the past year and envision how you’d like to feel this time next year. (Of course, there’s nothing in the calendar preventing you from surveying your life any time of the year, but if you’re a little rusty when it comes to this stuff then doing it at Christmas is a great time to get the ball rolling.) This might be the time to seriously consider planning that extended trip abroad you’ve always wanted to do, or genuinely weigh up the pros and cons of that potential career switch, or just to immerse yourself in your family and remember what matters most in life.
Embrace your singledom
There are so many positives about being single. You’re not tied down. You’re not stuck in an unhappy relationship. Your life is brimming with possibilities. It’s all a matter of perspective. Embrace your identity, not your relationship status. You’re not a singleton—you’re a unique individual with talents, interests, experiences, friends, family, hobbies, passions. You are already a whole person—you don’t need someone to complete you. By framing your life in this way this Christmas, you can harness a new sense of empowerment as you move forward into the new year. And when the time is right, someone out there will recognise you for the beautiful, confident, self-assured individual you are—and they won’t complete you, but complement you.
So this holiday season, remember what you already have that brings you joy: your friends and family, your lifestyle, your passions. And if you’re in a good place in your life and want to forge a little festive romance but don’t know where to start… we can help.
Maclynn is an elite, multi-award-winning international matchmaking agency. Get in touch today, and meet your very own dedicated matchmaker who, among our vast network of attractive and eligible singles, will find you that one person who ‘gets’ you, who accepts and loves you for who you are—and whose highly specific criteria you also meet, of course!