1. You have taken time to heal
You are engaging in life and your social circle and have put the past relationship behind you. You wake up every morning feeling generally happy about your life and what you are doing, and you are not wondering about your ex and what they’re up to. They’re not really on your mind any more. There is no clear timeline for breakup recovery. It depends on a lot of factors, but as an example a 2007 study aimed to compare the level of distress people thought they might experience after a breakup with the actual distress they experienced. Of the 69 participants, 26 experienced a breakup within the first 6 months of the study. Their distress declined steadily over several weeks, and by the 10-week mark, most of the felt better.
2. You have learnt from the past
You have reflected on your past relationships, any mistakes you may have made, what you have learnt from them and use those lessons in a way of reflection to better yourself moving forward.
3. You know what you want
Knowing what you want is a vital to finding it. It is not about a long list of superficial traits (tall, dark, handsome, works in finance), but about values, needs, beliefs, and boundaries. At Maclynn we believe the biggest indicator of long-term relationship success is neither shared hobbies nor balanced personalities, but rather aligned core values. Think about the following:
- your own core values and how should they reflect in your future partner
- how you want to feel when you are with this person
- how you want to be treated
4. You are excited by the idea of dating
You’re able to get excited about all the possibilities your romantic future might hold and not afraid of being vulnerable, even though you know you may get hurt again. When you meet someone new you are present, not caught up in your own stuff, and there is a genuine feeling of curiosity about the person in front of you.
5. You are actively investing in yourself
Dating, aside of being fun, also requires a lot of time and energy. Being aware of this and working to invest more in yourself, be it through reading, listening to podcasts, getting therapy or coaching will help set you on the right path. Any exercise in self-care that in some way enriches your emotional wellness or mental wellbeing leads to significantly improved connections with those around you. What’s more, it increases the chances of you meeting a potential long-term partner, someone you could genuinely see yourself making a go of it with.
Once you’re able to answer yes to all of the above, you’re definitely in the right emotional space to start dating. There are many studies showing that a lack of self-awareness and values clarification is one of the most common reasons why couples break up. So if you need a little extra help with moving past a difficult relationship, getting back into dating or working out what you should be looking for – we can certainly help.
Maclynn International is a boutique, multi-award-winning introductions agency with offices in London, New York, New Jersey, and California. We’re world-renowned for bringing together highly compatible singles within our vast network of attractive, intelligent professionals, and our matchmakers are relationship experts in their own right. Get in touch today!